using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
