omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
