If i could tip my vagina, i would.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
