After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
