I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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