Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize