Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
