Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
