I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
