I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize