oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
