You can't special order awesome
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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