he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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