After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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