Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
