U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
