Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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