Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
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Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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