I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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