What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
