I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize