i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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