i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
