just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
