BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
