my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
