I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
