I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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