Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
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i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
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Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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