She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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