His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
