he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
