we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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