You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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