I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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