I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
