I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
