I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize