Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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