its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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