yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
did i walk over a car last night?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
