I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
