u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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