You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
