I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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