Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He felt like a one man threesome
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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