He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize