How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
