love makes seman taste better
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
