I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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