i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
