And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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