roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
