is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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