it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
