He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
