still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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