Just fell off a train. Bad.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
