Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Your penis caused this!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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