if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
