We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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