The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
